Swimming Lesson From Hell

            My twins are individuals in every sense of the word. One is left-handed, the other, right-handed. One would never eat peanut butter while the other scorned it and would eat jelly alone. One has wavy dirty blonde hair and the other has straight, dark brown hair. I am certain that there was no mix up at the hospital, they are just different. They are also individuals in the activities that they enjoy...until they decide to trade traits and really screw with me.

For example, I had signed them up for swimming lessons and I was pretty sure that Adam would resist. He is that kid. If you offer or suggest it, he will not want it. I could try to give that kid a puppy and he'd tell me he wanted a turtle so when it came to swimming I knew that Drew, my adrenaline junky, would be hard to keep out of the pool and Adam would probably be questioning the credentials of the instructor. Oh how wrong I was.

The time came to put them into the pool for their lesson; both had their floatation devices on and had been run through the shower by me. Drew did not appreciate the shower and his attitude sucked ever after on that day. Adam got in with no incident which thrilled and relaxed me. Drew, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl and howled and was as mad as I've ever seen him. The instructor taught the other children while holding Drew on her hip as he screamed. She wanted to give him a minute to cool down and see that swimming rocks but that was a lesson that was not to be learned by Drew. Finally I could take it no more and I fetched my ill-mannered kid from the kind, extremely tolerant teacher and sat him, wrapped in a towel, in the parents viewing area with me and the other mothers who were no doubt thrilled that he was done shrieking and also relieved that it was not their child who had had such an incredible meltdown.

After the lesson from hell I called my husband to tell him how things went. I said that one had thrown a fit and the other swam and flopped like a little fish. I knew he'd get it wrong; I would've gotten it wrong as well. He'd assumed that Adam had freaked, as he should have, and that Drew had fought to stay in the pool for the rest of his life. Roger was just as surprised by the events of that day as I was, as all of the family members I told this story to were.

Every week after that when Adam got in the pool I expected Drew to come around and want to swim but that didn't happen. I was sure that I knew these children but they love to be contrary and I'm not entirely sure that they know that they are doing it. Oh sure, sometimes they are argumentative just because they can be but sometimes I wonder if it just sneaks up on them. It surely sneaks up on me and smacks me in the back of the head with a big reality check telling me that I will never have the right answers when it comes to my two.

Life is rarely dull and for that I am thankful.