Thursday, January 3, 2013

Corrupting Takes Skill and Foul Language


        As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry, my youngest brother has cancer. He lives in Vermont and I am in Iowa so we don’t see each other much. I wanted to send him a card that wasn’t mushy but had a sentiment expressed none-the-less. I found nothing that was even close to what I wanted. Nothing that was clever or quirky, let alone interesting or funny so I was left with no choice. I would have to find a card and pervert it all by myself. And so I did.

            The first card was paisley covered on the front and said ‘Simply stated…’ and when you opened it all it said was ‘Thanks.’ I had a vision of how to fix that card and so I bought it, took it home and went to work. I extended the one word on the back to read more than just ‘Thanks,’ it now read ‘Thanks for not being a douche bag,’ but I fouled up one of the ‘b’ in bag and then I was irritated and had to extend the sentence to a paragraph explaining that ‘I looked high and low to try to find a card with profanity and I found nothing. Then I go and f—k this card up while trying to be funny and I had to make my own f—king profanity because of that. Enjoy your f—king card. Love, Carol’ I think the beauty of the message speaks volumes.

            I was not done. I needed to find another card and I was going to do the same thing that I had done with plain and unperverted card A. I bought a perfectly nice card and added vulgarity to it with my own special flair. After searching for a card that I could work with I finally came across it. It was perfect. It was red and was embossed and had ribbons and all manner of embellishments. It was ripe for corrupting. It was also completely in Spanish which neither my brother or I speak, to this day I have no idea what the card says and that’s what makes it so funny. I knew he’d open it and take two seconds to start laughing when he realized what I had done. I did need to include a personal message so at the bottom of this lovely card I wrote, ‘Yeah, I have no idea what the f—k it says either. My Kung Fu is strong, my Spanish is not. Love, Carol’ and I sent it on its merry way.

            Creativity comes in all forms and doesn’t have to be typical, it just has to work for you and humor is what works for me just about every single day of my life. If I ever send you a card, hopefully I’ve had a thought of how to make it fun and personalized. What a lucky brother I have.

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