Subtitles Needed

            As most every other family in this country we are movie lovers, but to watch a movie with my kids you need to either have subtitles or have seen the movie so many times that you need not watch it this time around. Talkers, we have talkers who will ask questions throughout the entire movie and if you haven’t seen it fifteen times, by the end of the movie, you have no idea what happened.

            “Who is that?” they ask.

            “I don’t know, hush,” I reply.

            “Where are they going?”

            “I don’t know, be quiet and watch,” I will say again.

            “Why do they have a dog?”

            “I still don’t know, knock it off and watch,” I emphatically express. Again

            “Where are they going?” I’ll be asked again.

            “To the zoo,” I lie because I have no clue.

            “Why to the zoo?”

            “They aren’t going to the zoo, I made that up because you keep asking me things and I keep telling you that I don’t know.”

            “I’d like to go to the zoo,” is the next likely comment.

            “I’d like to watch the movie,” I would say while thinking that I live at the zoo.

            “What happened?”

            “If you guys would be quiet you would know or I could tell you because I’d know,” I say, very frustrated.

            “Why don’t you know what happened?”

            “Because you guys won’t zip it,” I know I have said something similar to this before.

            “What did that guy say?”

            “Stop talking or I’m going to shut this off!”

            “Well, I don’t know what they said.”

            “Neither do I because I can’t hear it over all of the talking,” I say once again and by this point I have given up on watching whatever we were attempting to watch.

            If it’s a movie I have seen several times then that is better. They can chatter all the way through it and I really kind of enjoy that.  I’m not missing anything and I can tell them what happened or is happening or is going to happen because I am surely going to be asked about it.

            Drew sat on my lap one day watching one of the Chronicles of Narnia movies and I swear that the movie was only background noise to him but it was fun. We curled up together and chattered the whole movie away and I didn’t care because that was definitely more fun than watching the movie but I knew what happened so I wasn’t lost like I am most every other moment of our day, movie watching or otherwise.