No Beatings in Public

      We were having lunch at a restaurant between soccer games one afternoon and Adam was being a particular handful. Finally, I got tired of it. Supremely tired of it. The messing with the salt and pepper shakers and the silverware, tipping the chair, spinning his straw in his very full glass of pop. So I decided to give a warning to him that I think most every parent has given at one time or another. I leaned across the table and looked him right in that sweet, beautiful face and said “If you spill that drink I’m going to spank your little butt right here in front of everyone in this restaurant.” To this my terrified and intimidated little son looks back across the table at me without stopping the spinning of the straw and asks “Could you just spank me in the bathroom or something?” I command the fear and respect of my brood make no mistake there. I rule with an iron fist. I shake my head. I was at a loss for words. I think I mumbled “Alright” or something along that devastating and frightening train of thought. I think he got the message.