A Quiet December

I haven't had much to say lately and for that I am sorry. I truly appreciate all who read my writings and find me worthy of your time.

I haven't felt like writing because of the national tragedy that hit us a few weeks ago. Writing about the funny things my kids do and say seemed vulgar in the wake of so many children dying and so many parents losing their loving children. I have two kids who fit into the age group of those murdered students and I was unable to think straight for a few days, unable to look at my kids without crying, unable to pass them without hugging them beause I knew I had something that twenty families would give anything to have back; living, breathing kids.

After the first of the year, which is tomorrow, I will resume but these past few weeks seemed like a good time to take a break from things and be thankful for who I still have and mourn for what others have lost.

Peace to you,

Carol

Kidney Donation Tips: Keep One For Yourself

     When my younger brother called to tell me that he had cancer I must admit that it hit me like a ton of bricks. We are not a mushy family, it makes us all uncomfortable. When we were in the middle of that infamous phone call I was racking my brain for something to say that was supportive but not icky and gooey but ultimately conveyed that I was all in for whatever he needed. I finally told him that he could have a kidney if he needed it to which he laughed and thanked me. He then mentioned that I have three kids so that meant that as far as the pool for kidneys went that there were eight that were possible matches for him to take from us. I corrected him on that and let him know that he was only entitled to four of those kidneys because I and my three kids need to have at least one a piece to make it. We seemed to settle that pretty easily and move on to other matters of business. Thank goodness for inappropriate joking.

Discrimination at the North Pole

     When the little boys were in kindergarten there was a serious holiday issue we needed to discuss immediately after school one day. There was an offense and it was unfair and mean and not to be tolerated. They sat on the couch with me and told me with the most serious little faces that Rudolf wasn’t allowed to play any reindeer games. That the other reindeer made fun of him and called him names and it’s wrong to call names because name-calling hurts and he was different and that people with differences can’t help it that they are different and that God loves them and so should we. I listened to them and let them get it all out and then I told them that I had heard of Rudolf’s unfair treatment by the other reindeer, of his suffering and that I, too, was appalled but that Santa had made everything right because he is a good and fair man and that Rudolf enjoys the full rights and privileges of the other non-nose-glowing reindeer. That we do indeed accept those with differences and that I was very proud of them for coming to me to report malevolent and wrong behavior. God help anyone who mistreats them or any of their friends, it will not be tolerated and rightly so. This from five year-olds.

Little Kids Are Tough

     Drew and Adam had both been quite sick. They were both losing weight and looking so gray that it frightened me. Adam could keep some fluid down but not Drew. I took Drew to the hospital and had him checked out. Of course, while there, he ate a Popsicle and was a much better color. He wouldn’t eat them at home of course so I got to pay for a $500 Popsicle. He did have some blood taken and the next day his regular pediatrician’s office called and said his blood work was irregular and that I needed to bring both the little boys in to have some blood work done. Sounded like so much fun that we went immediately. Drew had to go to the lab to have his blood taken and further tested which meant that they had to draw considerably more had the finger stick he had gotten the evening before. As I got to the lab I was met by four technicians, I assumed that they were slow that day and were all just hanging out. Not the case. One was to draw his blood while I held him on my lap and the other three would hold him still. I took a deep breath and readied myself. What happened next shocked all of us. The first tech poked him and the others were ready to hold him when he looked up at them and smiled. No crying, no screaming, not even a flinch. Nada. They were amazed; I told them to tell everyone about my brave, tough kid.

When Mom Is Mean...

            Adam is very protective of his brothers. He is his little brother’s keeper for sure but he is also in the business of protecting his older brother from any consequences he might incur from mom and dad. I was scolding Alex one evening for hurting one of his brothers. We talked at length about how we take care of those smaller than us and we behave a certain way. In the meantime Adam walks over to us, he is maybe two at this stage, looks me in the eye, takes Alex by his wrists and, without breaking eye contact with me, walks away with his older brother. I learned that Adam was not down with me being mean to his brothers and he was going to step in. That still happens anytime Alex is in trouble for something and Adam is around to stop it. I’ve let it go because I think it’s a good lesson for my older son to learn; no matter what you do, your brothers will love and take care of you so make sure you do the same for them. A lot of adoration there.

The Chicken Wing is of No Help

    Adam is a little instigator, this is a fact. He starts something with someone and then he’ll run. When he starts it with me I swat his behind because it drives me nuts that he picks on people for fun. Need to break him of that for sure. When he runs from me now he has learned that when I catch him he’s going to get swatted and this has become part of his game. As he runs from me he laughs and covers his tiny behind with one hand thinking, I guess, that that will prevent me from giving him a spank. I usually catch him, move that scrawny little chicken wing he calls an arm out of the way, swat him and sit him on the stairs for a bit. I know he is trying to work out a formula to prevent himself from being caught by me but as long as he is a child and I’m fully grown, the formula is that mom’s going to warm your little butt when she finally catches you.

Second Marriage Confusion

     As I am sitting here typing Adam says to me from the other room “You got married twice.” I tell him he is correct in his statement. He then says “You married Shane and then you married us.” Well, since that one is kind of hard to explain I just agree. To try to tell him that he wasn’t always a part of my life will lead to denial on his part and I’m too tired today to deal with that so “yes” is the answer I’m going with. Sure he’ll need therapy someday but that day’s not today.

Some Days Mom Is Not Enough

            Drew had a doctor’s appointment a few weeks ago; he was home from school with a fever and a terrible cough. The other boys went to school with no afflictions that I knew of. Usually when Drew goes to the doctor Adam goes as well, they either have check-ups or shots or are both sick at the same time. This was a new situation. So we go to the appointment and I have assured Drew that there will be no shots so he has nothing to be scared of because he looks a little anxious for a child that doesn’t have an anxious bone in his little body. He kept asking “No shots, right?” to which I emphatically answered that there would be none. This should be enough, I don’t lie to my sons and I am very forward with the truth so I am puzzled by his manner. Then it occurs to me, Adam takes care of Drew and Adam isn’t here. What to do? I ask Drew if this is why he looks so worried. “Yes.” Hmmmmm…well, I assure him that even though Adam is at school right at moment that I am with him and his mother treasures him and will let nothing bad happen to him. I told him there would be no shots and no pain (even if the doctor wanted to take some blood or give him a shot, it wouldn’t happen today since I have comforted my child with the fact that there will be no pain). I tell him that we will go to the pharmacy and get his medicine and he will be well soon, that no one will make him unhappy or uncomfortable because I will not allow it and I will stand in-between  him and any unpleasantness, I will protect him. To this he replies “So, can we go get Adam?” I see where my place in his life is and it is behind his twin brother, his keeper. I’m good with that.